I read an interesting article about Sex and the City yesterday. The article, titled "I Thought We'd All Be Single Together," outlines writer Devin Tomb's expectations of a glamorous, exciting life in New York City filled with consistent female friendship. Tomb reflects, as a single New Yorker in her mid-thirties, that the show ultimately let her down. The reality Tomb describes is one of loneliness when single girlfriends become married girlfriends, and she concludes that while she knows she's not really alone, Sex and the City set an "extravagant" example of female friendships for women in their mid-thirties.
I'm in my late twenties, and the majority of my friends are still unmarried and childless, however, I suspect that Tomb's take on Sex and the City is pretty accurate. But still, I couldn't help but wonder...are there certain life lessons or expectations that Sex and the City did deliver on?
One of the biggest takeaways from the show, for me, was how it normalized and popularized the candid conversations that women have with each other about...everything. From Miranda Googling tongue thrusting (season 3, episode 15) to Carrie exploring whether she wants children (season 6B, episode 3) to Samantha managing sexism in the workplace (season 4, episode 10) to Carrie obsessing over a break up (season 2, episode 13) to Charlotte getting crabs (season 2, episode 17) and the the word “orgasm” in basically every episode. The show's main characters practice open, honest, and unashamed behavior that many female friend groups can relate to. Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha live in a world where they can't find answers—the same world that we, as viewers, all live in—so they lean on each other for personal advice, taboo knowledge, and universal truths.
I love that this part of the show is rooted in reality. Throughout history, women have consistently turned to each other to exchange wisdom and stories to the point where conversation (i.e. "old wives tales") became the most effective way for women to gain power, understanding, and opportunity. I think that SATC normalized these conversations for the rest of the world, and this remains refreshing despite some of the searingly obvious and cringeworthy diversity misses. Whenever I watch re-runs, I still find their candor refreshing, especially in a world obsessed with happy endings, getting the guy, and having kids. SATC is one of the only shows (still) that reminds me of how powerful women can be on their own, carving a different path that isn't what society expects because they're doing it together.
In a lot of ways, I see the conversations that happen in Diem in a similar vein, where the candid conversations our members have with each other – from the orgasm gap, to their favorite retinol, to fundraising for their start-up – become resources.
And Just Like That...I can’t wait to dive back into Carrie, Charlotte and Miranda's lives tonight (while simultaneously trying not to be sad about Samantha’s absence and a certain rumored death). Who’s hosting a viewing party?!
Things we’re reading this week…
💫 Unpacking the hate on “astrology girl.” We all know an “astrology girl” (and for the record, we love her). She’s the gal who lives by her horoscope and loves to learn people’s zodiac signs upon meeting them. This piece from Kathleen Wong is such a needed, nuanced look at why astrology girl gets so much unnecessary flak. Hint: toxic masculinity. (The Power Outlet)
🥚 Would you share your frozen eggs? This is a great explainer on the ethics and realities of “freeze-and-share” programs, where egg donors "share” a batch of eggs retrieved from her in exchange for getting to freeze half of her eggs for free. (The Cut)
💸 The cost of being single in America. “When we talk about all the ways it’s become harder and harder for people to find solid financial footing in the middle class, we have to talk about how our society is still set up in a way that makes it much easier for single people to fall through the cracks,” writes Anne Helen Peterson. What would happen if we suddenly decided to support single people in this country? (Vox)
👀 What it’s like to be queer and Christian. Writer Ashley Broadwater writes about the duality of her identity as both a bisexual person and a Christian. “I can carry around my keychain with a bisexual flag on it, as well as my countless devotional books. I can still pray almost every night, cuddling my girlfriend while I do it. And you’ll continue to find me at both religious group gatherings and Pride events. I can do these things without shame—as a bisexual, as a Christian, and as myself—all at once.” (The Power Outlet)
Conversations we’re having in Diem…
How to fundraise with Jenny Fielding | Managing Partner, The Fund | TODAY, Dec 9, 5:00PM EST. Sharing knowledge and best practices on fundraising for a startup. Join here.
Cannabis for Women’s Health with June Johnson | Model & Founder of Collective High | TODAY, Dec 9, 6:00PM EST. Sharing knowledge on cannabis & women’s health. Join here.
How to /See/ People with Eria Weaver | Relationship & Intimacy Coach | TODAY, Dec 9th, 7:00PM EST. Sharing knowledge on how to hear people on a deeper level and give the gift of feeling seen. Join here.
Let’s Talk Microneedling with Shyann Bouchard, RN | Nurse & Skincare Guru | FRIDAY, Dec 10th, 12.00PM EST. Sharing knowledge on micro needling, the efffects, benefits and everything in between. Join here.
How to build a brand with Nikita Walia | Founder, BLANK agency | SUNDAY, Dec 12th, 6.00PM EST. Sharing knowledge on branding and social media. Join here.
Download the Diem app via the App Store or Google Play for access.
A private screening for the Diem community…
As a follow up to our Live Session in Diem with filmmaker Abby Epstein last week – the Diem community has exclusive access to a (virtual) private screening of The Business of Birth Control this weekend.
“Looking at the complex relationship of hormonal contraception to women’s health and liberation, The Business of Birth Control features the stories of activists, doctors and scientists who are blowing the whistle on how hormonal birth control affects the mind and body.”
The Business of Birth Control is the next documentary from Abby Epstein and Ricki Lake’s media company, The Business of Life – investigating the business behind reproductive health. Want to watch? We will be sharing the link and instructions on how you can watch in the Diem app tomorrow morning, it will be available for us to view from Dec 10th at 12PM ET to Dec 13th 12AM ET. Download Diem via App Store or Google Play for access.
That’s all for this week! Catch you next time.