It likely comes as no surprise that I’m so over the trend of female founder “hit pieces” in the tech press. You know the ones—journalists who are women talk to sources who are (often) women to dig into the pitfalls and toxic culture at startups like Away, Outdoor Voices, The Wing, and Spring Health, all companies that were founded by women. I used to work at Away (joining when there were ~10 employees) and now I’m the co-founder and public face of a startup, so I have a lot of thoughts.
ICYMI, the latest “takedown” piece focuses on Glossier and its founder, Emily Weiss. The article is behind a paywall, which is why I’m not linking it here. It also reads like gossip—instead of digging further into Glossier’s recent business pivots (it’s abandoning its plan to become the “Facebook of beauty”), the article chooses to pay extra attention to details like Emily Weiss leaving New York during the pandemic and wanting employees to keep their desks overly clean.
I have no issue with journalism that breaks stories about genuine business failures or workplace discrimination, but I struggle to see the value of pieces with emotionally-charged rhetoric that attacks a founder’s personal life. This is a certain type of critique that seems to be solely reserved for women and it’s hard to ignore the double standards at play here.
When people join companies founded by a more diverse leadership team than the white, male executives that typically dominate startupland, it’s evident that employees subconsciously believe that startups led by women will be “better.” And I get that. We herald “female founders” by featuring them in lists and promotional articles and podcasts, but we don’t do the same for “male founders” (that’s not even a term!). So it’s easy to imagine that tech workers think companies with female leadership will be a type of workplace utopia, free of (or at least sheltered from) the intense hustle culture that haunts most venture-backed startups because of the pressure that capital puts on growth. And while startups founded and led by women can often be “better” from a values or mission perspective, the fact of the matter is, these are companies at the end of the day.
Startups are usually founded by highly ambitious people who pursue success with sheer grit and determination to 1) make money and 2) solve a larger issue that they see in the world. Anyone who has worked in a hyper-growth startup knows how highly unglamorous, chaotic, and intense it can be as a work environment. The need to “grow at all costs” is never the product of the founding team’s gender—that is simply one of the systemic challenges felt across the entire industry.
But of course, gender clouds our judgment. We hold preconceived notions that women are more maternal and empathetic figures than men, so we put them on pedestals and expect “better” behavior from them as leaders. We accept male leaders as sometimes aggressive and harsh, and it’s shocking when women exhibit those same character traits. Even the other day, I was called “ambitious” in a pitch with a venture capitalist—an adjective I’m sure Travis Kalanick was never called when he was raising money for Uber.
To be clear—I firmly believe that every leader should build their company with empathy & continue to refine their leadership skills. And when these “takedown” pieces get published, I hope that the leaders they call out take the time to read the article and assess if there’s genuinely room for improvement. But, as a startup leader who happens to be a woman, I also refuse to build a company with a target on my back, second guessing every “ambitious” business decision that I make.
We desperately need new definitions for feminine leadership besides descriptors like “girlboss.” How can we start to shift the conversation? What do you think of the phenomenon of female-founder takedowns? We started the conversation yesterday (listen here), and you can join us in Diem this week to talk it out.
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What we’re reading…
🤳 Tech is making vigilantism easier than ever. “Certainly, technology did not create American vigilantism. But in our always-online, connected-to-everyone-always world, every camera is an opportunity—for infamy, celebrity, or even simple humiliation.” (Dame)
💻 The weirdness of online womanhood. Rayne Fisher-Quann has our attention (Vanity Fair)
👀 On living with fear as an Asian American woman. An essay by novelist Min Jin Lee. (New York Times)
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Who we’re Dieming with…
To “Diem with” someone means to candidly exchange knowledge. Here’s a selection of knowledge going live (in the Diem app) this week.
Building Communities via TikTok with Hosts Courtney Spritzer & Nikki Bogopolskaya. Live as of MONDAY 12PM EST, listen here.
Glossier & the BS of G*rlboss Takedowns with Taylor Majewski & Emma Bates. Live as of MONDAY 1PM EST, listen here.
Defining your brand voice with Anjelika Temple. Live as of MONDAY 7PM EST, listen here.
Friendship Break-Ups with Liana Pavane. Going live TUESDAY 5PM EST, listen here.
2014: an internet feminism odyssey, reflections on toxic girlboss culture & that viral Kim K video with Nikita & Eryn Danielle. Going live TUESDAY 6PM EST, listen here.
How to use Twitter as a founder and not go insane with Mady Maio. Going live WEDNESDAY 5.30PM EST, listen here.
Real Talk: Breastfeeding & Bias with Betsy Riley. Going live THURSDAY 5PM EST, listen here.
Health is Wealth: Crypto, why you should care with SheFi’s Porter Geer & Maggie Love. Going live FRIDAY 1PM EST, listen here.
Talking About Your Trauma with Amy Fraser & Jen Waite. Going live SUNDAY at 6.45PM EST, listen here.
See you next time,
Emma
co-founder, Diem
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"This is a certain type of critique that seems to be solely reserved for women and it’s hard to ignore the double standards at play here." 🙌
This is a great piece and so true. I, myself, have often felt that women can be more hardcore than men and more driven. If for no other reason than to make money and to clap-back at the stereotypes of women entrepreneurs, but then finding themselves falling into the stereotypical category of "aggressive" or "a bitch". It's a vicious cycle. It won't change until the narrative behind women entrepreneurs changes, and we are seen as equals to men.