My boyfriend’s friend keeps sending him p*rn

"Your boyfriend is only as good as the friends he keeps."

Today’s essay explore how your partner’s friends can put stress on the relationship, and how to address it without becoming the villain.

But first, here’s what else people are talking about on Diem:

1. Yall I discovered THAT shower head setting …   

2. Sleep tips?!? I want to wake up feeling like a 👑   

3. Am I attracted to my partner or do I not know what an adult relationship feels like?

4. My ex and I broke up after being together for over 10.5 years

5. How to let someone down gently ?

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My least favorite part of any new relationship is meeting my partner’s friends. Not because I don’t want to meet them, but because meeting them can end up making or breaking the entire relationship. The story always starts the same, with a few good dates that transition into a larger group hang. What happens next has run the gamut—I’ve been with guys whose friends have ignored me, insulted me, and sexualized me. They’ve gotten aggressive when drunk, or, in the case of one friend, peed in the corner of the bar just because he could get away with it.

After enduring too many of these experiences, I developed a rule: Your boyfriend is only as good as the friends he keeps. If he’s nice to me, but a menace with them, then I’m the one he’s putting on an act for.

While the motto is simple, it doesn’t mean you’re not in a tricky situation. The demanding girlfriend who takes a man from his friends is a common trope, and in fear of perpetuating it, too often women stay silent and endure concerning behavior. In this situation, you’re watching your boyfriend behave like someone you don’t recognize, and exhibit behavior that is demeaning towards women.