Hearsay

Hearsay

Share this post

Hearsay
Hearsay
People think my boyfriend is ugly
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
The Things We Don't Talk About

People think my boyfriend is ugly

Any advice on how to get over the fear of judgement?

kate lindsay's avatar
kate lindsay
Aug 27, 2024
∙ Paid
3

Share this post

Hearsay
Hearsay
People think my boyfriend is ugly
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
3
Share

Community spaces are here! Update the app to check out some spaces already created by your fellow Diemers, like Decentering Men, Gossip to get your heart rates up, and Neurodivergent Corner, or request your own!

But first, here’s what else people are talking about on Diem:

  1. My husband is turning me into his girl best friend

  2. breast reduction recovery necessities?

  3. I’m terrified of penetration!!

  4. How to quit vaping?? Need accountability buddies!

  5. How do ya’ll stim?


The “ugly boyfriend” is a common internet trope. I’m thinking of memes like this one. In fact, there’s a whole theory called the “Hot Girlfriend, Ugly Boyfriend” phenomenon, so if anything, you should take it as a compliment.

In all seriousness, while I do firmly believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder, there are guys I’ve been in situationships with who did not, shall we say, behold beauty in mine eyes. Let’s be clear: They were sweet, funny, and confident. Our connections were unlike anything I had experienced before, because we were drawn together completely by chemistry instead of love at first sight. And while love at first sight is romanticized in movies and music, you can’t build a happy, fulfilling life on washboard abs.

But you know this is well as I do. It’s why you and your partner are together—you followed the chemistry, and built a strong connection. You are, as you wrote, “sexually attracted to him and like who he is as a person.” You’re just worried other people will judge it. That’s a whole other obstacle.

I can start with the obvious advice: That it doesn’t matter what other people think as long as you’re happy. But I also want to be realistic.

Keep reading with a 7-day free trial

Subscribe to Hearsay to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Diem Enterprises Inc.
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share

Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More