Do tweens really need skincare?
On anti-aging and the loss of girlhood.
Goooooood morning! Everything else may be a garbage fire, but at least there’s Taylor Swift. While The Tortured Poets Society is sure to absolutely wreck us come April, todayEmma Bates is diving into an equally devastating topic: teens, tweens, and skincare. — Kate
But first, here’s what else people are talking about on Diem:
I’m a teacher and I have noticed a lot of my male students buying into incel propaganda
How do I start working out again without feeling like I am shaming my current body?
my boyfriend gets angrier when i cry, do i need to be wary of this?
I think this is something more of us struggle with than we all realize.
I read this article the other day on how Drunk Elephant skincare was at the top of a staggering number of young girls’ holiday wishlists. As the article points out, “on TikTok the hashtag #KidsatSephora has more than 5 million views, featuring videos of Drunk Elephant kids wreaking havoc on tester products in stores.”
How have millennial skincare brands become coveted by literal children?
“The most obvious answer is, obviously, social media. They see it; they want it. But according to media psychologist Don Grant, PhD, it's more than that—it's part of a long history of young girls always wanting to play at being older. ‘Forever in history, from the time girls were little, they were given what? Dolls,’ he says. ‘What is a doll? A doll is to be a mommy. We also know that little girls have always loved to play dress-up, and they love to play with mommy's makeup. This is not new [behavior] to try to be mature a little faster and test things out.’ In today's digital age this concept applies to influencers and online personalities. According to Dr. Grant, children go through developmental stages. By age 13 they start to experience the parasocial effect, wherein they stop looking to their parents and teachers for guidance and start looking to their peers. ‘It used to be your peers are your friend group,’ he says. ‘But now I call it the parasocial-media effect. Kids are [also] looking at influencers and their followers as their peers.’”
Firstly, brands pushing products that are designed for “anti-aging” in any way, be it via ads or otherwise, should be ashamed of themselves. I get it, we live in a capitalist society, but at risk of giving off major boomer energy… why the f*ck do girls as young as 9-10 know the words “peptide” and “retinol”?! Do teen girls not have enough insecurity or shame around their beauty, looks, and sex appeal already? Why do we need to add a fear of aging on top of this? It just seems… cruel? At least give us until 21 before we start collectively panicking about our first wrinkle. Could these (mostly millennial) parents buying skincare products be this generation’s version of almond moms?
Interestingly, this trend of teen girls wanting Drunk Elephant is coinciding with adult women coveting their girlhood (we’ve written about this before). From girl dinners to hot girl walks, millennial women are trying to reclaim lost parts of their girlhood or get back to the feeling of “freedom” that so many think they felt when they were younger before the pressures of beauty standards, motherhood, marriage, and career took over their lives. It all feels very Benjamin Button.
But there’s something acute in both of these trends, which are actually remarkably similar. Adult women are looking for freedom in a world that continually strips them of their freedom of autonomy, and teen girls want the same. Make up has long been a way for them to explore expressions of themselves, some rare autonomy in a life that’s heavily dictated by their parents and school schedules. Is teen girls’ new obsession with skincare a slightly more sinister expression of this? Do girls just want to be free? It’s deeply ironic that the actions they are taking to claim autonomy were created by patriarchal beauty standards, but I digress.
It makes me wonder… what even is girlhood today? Long gone are the images of skipping in a circle and making daisy chains. While those of us pining for some elements of our girlhood are definitely viewing it with rose-tinted glasses, I can’t stop thinking: Will Gen Alpha be able to look back at their girlhood and reminisce on the delights and “freedom” that many millennial adult women are pining over? Or, having spent their tween and teen years living like they’re 30, will they have any girlhood to look back on at all?
What do you think? Share your thoughts with me in Diem. I’ll be hanging out in the comments all day.
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I've been thinking about this a LOT. I always appreciate your perspective, Emma!
Yes. Instil a lifelong habit of cleansing, using moisturiser and (physical) sunscreen everyday.