Why can't I stop being a b*tch to my partner?

On living with men, post-election.

💻 Contribute to a perimenopause article! 💻 Lindsay Gellman, a reporter working on a story for New York Magazine’s The Cut, is crowdsourcing tips and hacks that have helped people with their perimenopause symptoms. Email Lhgellman@gmail.com if you’re interested in contributing! (Can be anonymous)

But first, here’s what else people are talking about on Diem:

1. I’m so tired of being horny late at night when I have to poop.    

2. Working for unethical company   

3. new IUD who dis 💅    

4. I want to go sober!! Anyone have any advice?    

5. Pregnant with my ex   

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When I woke up the morning after the election, I didn’t know the results. What I did know, however, was that my husband had been stirring next to me for a few minutes, and if he hadn’t woken me to immediately tell me the good news, then I knew it had to be bad.

The phrase “stages of grief” implies inevitable progress, but while my initial denial moved swiftly to anger, I haven’t been able to make it to what’s next. I believe many things are to blame for the election result, but I’m angry that the potential loss of necessary women’s healthcare was itself alone not enough of a motivator to bring voters to the polls. “Misogyny is not a left or right issue,” I wrote for the Diem newsletter that week. “While the men on the right are overtly attempting to control women’s bodies, some men on the left are doing the equally-harmful thing of not taking that seriously.”

When I wrote that, I was talking about a faceless group of men who were not directly in front of me, which meant I had nowhere to direct my anger. Instead, then, my anger went towards the next best thing: my husband.