Hearsay

Hearsay

Share this post

Hearsay
Hearsay
You don’t hate cats — you hate women
The Things We Don't Talk About

You don’t hate cats — you hate women

Diem's co-founder Emma Bates on "childless cat ladies."

The Things We Don't Talk About's avatar
The Things We Don't Talk About
Aug 13, 2024
∙ Paid
8

Share this post

Hearsay
Hearsay
You don’t hate cats — you hate women
3
Share

Creator, oracle, host — which girlie are you? Apply to our brand new VIP Ambassador program and get special perks like free access to paid newsletters, the chance to be featured on our Instagram, the ability to host Salons, exclusive WhatsApp groups and more 👀 Plus, we're creating a 🎓 Diem College Campus Ambassador Program 🎓. If you're a college student, head over here to fill out our feedback survey!

But first, here’s what else people are talking about on Diem:

  1. my friend can’t love me the way I need to be loved and i don’t know what to do   

  2. I know it’s wrong but my situationship is seeing other women and it makes me uncomfortable

  3. is it cheating if i wear another guy (coworker)’s hoodie?  

  4. Do boobs get flat if you don’t wear bras    

  5. how to be confident down there when gets eaten?   


I wrote in defense of cat ladies last year, but with the trending cat lady-related conversation thanks to #1 woman hater, JD Vance (and also inspired by Diem editor Kate Lindsay’s recent FANTASTIC article for GQ, aptly named “Men can be cat ladies too” ) I felt the need to bolster my initial remarks. As an OG loud and proud cat lover since the age of 5, I feel overly qualified to participate in this discussion.

In defense of cat ladies

In defense of cat ladies

The Things We Don't Talk About
·
October 3, 2023
Read full story

In my essay last year, I questioned whether people hating cats is due to entrenched misogyny. This year, I am done questioning it. I am even more certain that the answer is definitively: yes.

"[Cats] are independent and often intelligent – things that in the past if people were trying to control women they would not want them to be.” — Alice Maddicott, author of Cat Women

Obviously, if you have had some sort of traumatic cat incident in your childhood, I will consider exempting you from this broad generalization. But, if you tell me you don’t like cats and reference some line about them not loving you instantly — much like if you told me you don’t like a successful or famous woman, but you can’t tell me what specifically it is you don’t like about them — just know I will be silently judging you, and guiding you in the direction of some content about how to free yourself from internalized misogyny.

I am only partially joking. Here’s why:

Keep reading with a 7-day free trial

Subscribe to Hearsay to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Diem Enterprises Inc.
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share