Feb 15, 2023Liked by The Things We Don't Talk About
Honestly, having grown up in a world that constantly commodifies us, and having lived in major metropolitan cities all around Europe, I still find it insane that we will likely always have an inherent distrust of compliments. Even from people we like and are attracted to. Likely because we’ve also been conditioned to believe that they’re doing it from a place of strategy, because they want something from you - even if the person is your partner and you know that isn’t true. The automatic distrust makes it hard to connect, to be vulnerable when we’ve been taught that to survive and stay safe, we need to do the opposite.
Feb 14, 2023Liked by The Things We Don't Talk About
There was a phase a few years ago, where men would come up to me and try and chat me up in the street - I saw it happen to many other women as well. I was always almost certain that they were being watched and coached by someone from the Neil Strauss world of 'Game' coaching. There was something so awkward and unnerving about the way they would bowl over, almost like a sales-person. There's definitely something in that divide of delivery of compliment where it can feel like its being offered with expectation. But if its offered casually or feels genuine, then I think it still hits.
Honestly, having grown up in a world that constantly commodifies us, and having lived in major metropolitan cities all around Europe, I still find it insane that we will likely always have an inherent distrust of compliments. Even from people we like and are attracted to. Likely because we’ve also been conditioned to believe that they’re doing it from a place of strategy, because they want something from you - even if the person is your partner and you know that isn’t true. The automatic distrust makes it hard to connect, to be vulnerable when we’ve been taught that to survive and stay safe, we need to do the opposite.
There was a phase a few years ago, where men would come up to me and try and chat me up in the street - I saw it happen to many other women as well. I was always almost certain that they were being watched and coached by someone from the Neil Strauss world of 'Game' coaching. There was something so awkward and unnerving about the way they would bowl over, almost like a sales-person. There's definitely something in that divide of delivery of compliment where it can feel like its being offered with expectation. But if its offered casually or feels genuine, then I think it still hits.