Mar 23, 2023Liked by The Things We Don't Talk About
The socioeconomic reality of having children in the U.S. means that if you have 3+ children, then you're either (a) wealthy and/or (b) religious.
Generally speaking, having more than 2 children is a "flex" and having 4+ means you're "rich rich." I came across a TikTok video (can't find it again ugh!) that explained how babies *can* be a luxury, but they don't have to be.
While it's a generalizing and comical take, I found the breakdown to be roughly accurate based on my experiences as a mom in tech to 2 young children.
The creator described the analogy of "babies as designer bags". First, there are "FashionNova babies" who don't go to preschool, are cared for by family members (typically a stay-at-home-mom or grandma), and don't do any extracurricular activities. Second, there are "Coach babies" who go fancy preschools, are cared for by nannies, and do extracurricular activities like martial arts and piano. Third, there are "Birkin babies" who go to $50K+/year preschools, are cared for by SAHM and/or multiple nannies, and have trust funds before they're born. Most families in Type 1 and Type 2 have 1-2 children; families in Type 3 often have 3+ more children.
Mar 16, 2023Liked by The Things We Don't Talk About
Loved this and it made me think a lot. Especially as someone who wants kids in the future...I often ask myself how much will I have to sacrifice in order to give them the life I want to be able to provide? Will I have to give up all the hours in my day to work full time/over time in order to save up the money? Will I have to then give up my job to be a full time mom? Will I have to find a job that I like enough to work full time that also offers good health care and maternity leave? What if I don't want to live where my family is located... A lot to think about. I think it's good that we are becoming more intentional to have children. Yet I also believe it should not be costing this much financially and spiritually for those of us who do decide to conceive...
The socioeconomic reality of having children in the U.S. means that if you have 3+ children, then you're either (a) wealthy and/or (b) religious.
Generally speaking, having more than 2 children is a "flex" and having 4+ means you're "rich rich." I came across a TikTok video (can't find it again ugh!) that explained how babies *can* be a luxury, but they don't have to be.
While it's a generalizing and comical take, I found the breakdown to be roughly accurate based on my experiences as a mom in tech to 2 young children.
The creator described the analogy of "babies as designer bags". First, there are "FashionNova babies" who don't go to preschool, are cared for by family members (typically a stay-at-home-mom or grandma), and don't do any extracurricular activities. Second, there are "Coach babies" who go fancy preschools, are cared for by nannies, and do extracurricular activities like martial arts and piano. Third, there are "Birkin babies" who go to $50K+/year preschools, are cared for by SAHM and/or multiple nannies, and have trust funds before they're born. Most families in Type 1 and Type 2 have 1-2 children; families in Type 3 often have 3+ more children.
Loved this and it made me think a lot. Especially as someone who wants kids in the future...I often ask myself how much will I have to sacrifice in order to give them the life I want to be able to provide? Will I have to give up all the hours in my day to work full time/over time in order to save up the money? Will I have to then give up my job to be a full time mom? Will I have to find a job that I like enough to work full time that also offers good health care and maternity leave? What if I don't want to live where my family is located... A lot to think about. I think it's good that we are becoming more intentional to have children. Yet I also believe it should not be costing this much financially and spiritually for those of us who do decide to conceive...