I too have had similar thoughts. To me it’s an indicator of how damn tired I am of the world and people. It represents more of a stepping away from all the horrible things in the world and the horrors of being a women. Granted, I’d be insanely bored inside of two weeks, but is certainly a nice place to dissociate to from time to time.
I’ve been thinking about this post since I read it yesterday, especially about your therapist’s comment about freedom meaning a restriction of autonomy. I grew up with my own trad wife (my mom), and the tenets of this ideology definitely took a toll on my psyche + our relationship. Definitely not a fun thing to be/live up to in real life! I can definitely see the allure, though - so much of life is chaotic and uncontrollable, it would be nice to tune out sometimes and just bake. Or clean. Or whatever. Then again, I feel like the trad wife life would be a lot less enticing if we all just got more sleep lol!
Adore how hard you hit the patriarchal nail on the head towards the end there. I definitely used to joke about having a kid with someone so I could be ‘kept’ and just write all day. Obviously that would be a toxic lifestyle choice and I didn’t do it, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who thinks that submission as ‘freedom’ is still just submission.
I LOVED this - you’ve summed up a feeling I have also felt and wondered why. Wanting is so exhausting but the alternative is... scary? Thank you for writing this
Oh I feel this so deeply. This desire to be taken care of I think exists in us all. Freedom means suffering as much as happiness, and that can be scary, especially as a woman in the patriarchy, as you point out.
Great article, Kate. It’s a big be careful what you wish for thing. 😘
I too have had similar thoughts. To me it’s an indicator of how damn tired I am of the world and people. It represents more of a stepping away from all the horrible things in the world and the horrors of being a women. Granted, I’d be insanely bored inside of two weeks, but is certainly a nice place to dissociate to from time to time.
I’ve been thinking about this post since I read it yesterday, especially about your therapist’s comment about freedom meaning a restriction of autonomy. I grew up with my own trad wife (my mom), and the tenets of this ideology definitely took a toll on my psyche + our relationship. Definitely not a fun thing to be/live up to in real life! I can definitely see the allure, though - so much of life is chaotic and uncontrollable, it would be nice to tune out sometimes and just bake. Or clean. Or whatever. Then again, I feel like the trad wife life would be a lot less enticing if we all just got more sleep lol!
I wonder if there’s a link between this and the rise of smut fiction tropes like reverse harems, billionaire romance series etc?
Adore how hard you hit the patriarchal nail on the head towards the end there. I definitely used to joke about having a kid with someone so I could be ‘kept’ and just write all day. Obviously that would be a toxic lifestyle choice and I didn’t do it, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who thinks that submission as ‘freedom’ is still just submission.
I LOVED this - you’ve summed up a feeling I have also felt and wondered why. Wanting is so exhausting but the alternative is... scary? Thank you for writing this
Oh I feel this so deeply. This desire to be taken care of I think exists in us all. Freedom means suffering as much as happiness, and that can be scary, especially as a woman in the patriarchy, as you point out.